Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Un-race announcement

This won't be me next weekend.

I will not be doing my first triathlon like I anticipated, but I'm OK with it, it was my own decision. 

There are a few reasons why I won't be competing and none really out weigh another. 

A big one is I am feeling unprepared. I have learned to swim better, my form has improved and I am comfortable in a pool. I underestimated the difference between fear in a pool and fear in a lake. BIG difference for me. I am not prepared to swim a half mile in a lake.

I have sprained my left ankle twice in the last 3 weeks. Luckily, I was able to see my mom's chiropractor for an ankle/foot adjustment this past weekend. I asked him point blank " Should I do the triathlon I am registered for ( I WANTED the answer to be NO and that tells me something.) He said that if I did, I would need at least 2 more adjustments before the race. He didn't say either way.

I am uneasy. This may have something to do with feeling unprepared, but they are not always the same. With a feeling of uneasiness, there may be something else to it, something else that is telling me not to move forward right now with this race. I don't mean to be all sixth sense about it, but it's true! I have learned to trust that little inner voice, especially when there are external factors backing it up.

Another aspect of my preparedness is my current schedule! I am still working to find my footing with my work schedule and all that I am doing. When I signed up for the race, I didn't anticipate my career change and my schedule being the way it is right now. It's not just like training for a race, even a really LONG race, it's learning new skills and I wasn't able to invest the time like I wanted.

Am I bummed out? Yeah, of course. I ws telling myself these past 2 weeks that I was just going to power through, buckle down and face that fear no matter the cost. I wish I was a little more of a super woman, in all honesty I feel like a bit of a dork when I think of all the people who have said "It's so cool your doing this, it's so great your tackling your fear head on." I feel a bit like I am running the other direction, even if I am only stepping back.

Will I do this someday? Yes. I will. I want to, but now is not the time and as much as I want to be super woman, I have to be who I am. I am going to listen to my body and to the little voice telling me to wait. I would hate to have a horrible experience and ruin a potentially cool race by going against how I am feeling.

Have you ever had a horrible race experience and wish you had been more prepared? Have you ever backed out of a race knowing it's for the best?


Shan said...

It's good to not be doing the tri. Being unprepared and just not ready is not the same as being ready but nervous. In the latter case, you should go for it! But in the former, it's different. You should never do something major that you are truly not ready for! There is always time in the future to do it, when you ARE ready!

Anonymous said...

I am bummed for you. However I am very relieved you are not doing the swim. My first triathlon swim was a disaster, it was horrible, and I never wanted to do it again. The bad part it was only our "mock" triathlon the week before the real thing. I was terrified and I consider myself a good swimmer. I am so proud of you and your swimming lessons and all that you have done to prepare for it. I was getting nervous for you. Good for you to listen to your inner voice. TINA

Megan said...

With your training, you ARE still tackling your fears head-on. You ARE still superwoman! Just because you'll be doing the tri later instead of sooner doesn't mean anything to me. I still admire you for the effort you're putting into it. And when you do complete it, it'll be awesome. :)

Cheryl S. said...

Good for you, Mary. It's a very courageous thing to do because I think what we fear more than just about anything is what others will think of us. Doing the right thing sometimes opens us up to be misunderstood, but if we aren't true to ourselves who will be?

And, the folks who judge? They weren't ever really on your side anyway. :)

Hugs to you!

Beth said...

I had registered for a race that was giving me anxiety attacks...I didn't feel like I was prepared for the massive hills around the route. When I finally decided that I wasn't going to do it...it seemed like a weight had been lifted. Congrats on all of your continued hard work and your decision to do what is best for you.=)

Chris H. said...

Bummer Mary!
There are plenty more triathlons to enter next year - we have a bunch of great ones to choose from!
Yet I know the feeling - I skipped Grandma's this year due to a sore calf, and it is disappointing to back out of a race. But you need to be smart and keep the long-term perspective - stay healthy, well-trained, and you'll crush it next time! :)

fitfunandfabulous said...

I know this was a tough decision but it sounds like it was the right one for you. When you are more prepared you can sign up again and kick that triathlon's ass!!

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

ummm yes, I ran the san diego marathon knowing I was injured...result was needing to walk from mile 12 on and sometimes not evening being able to move faster than 20 min per mile i was in so much pain...DUMB

good choice and hey there are more races!!

Mary said...

You guys are SO great!! Thank you SO much for your encouragement and your kind words! It was a hard decision and hard to admit, but the smart one! Thanks again for reading and sending love. :P

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