Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Un-race announcement

This won't be me next weekend.

I will not be doing my first triathlon like I anticipated, but I'm OK with it, it was my own decision. 

There are a few reasons why I won't be competing and none really out weigh another. 

A big one is I am feeling unprepared. I have learned to swim better, my form has improved and I am comfortable in a pool. I underestimated the difference between fear in a pool and fear in a lake. BIG difference for me. I am not prepared to swim a half mile in a lake.

I have sprained my left ankle twice in the last 3 weeks. Luckily, I was able to see my mom's chiropractor for an ankle/foot adjustment this past weekend. I asked him point blank " Should I do the triathlon I am registered for ( I WANTED the answer to be NO and that tells me something.) He said that if I did, I would need at least 2 more adjustments before the race. He didn't say either way.

I am uneasy. This may have something to do with feeling unprepared, but they are not always the same. With a feeling of uneasiness, there may be something else to it, something else that is telling me not to move forward right now with this race. I don't mean to be all sixth sense about it, but it's true! I have learned to trust that little inner voice, especially when there are external factors backing it up.

Another aspect of my preparedness is my current schedule! I am still working to find my footing with my work schedule and all that I am doing. When I signed up for the race, I didn't anticipate my career change and my schedule being the way it is right now. It's not just like training for a race, even a really LONG race, it's learning new skills and I wasn't able to invest the time like I wanted.

Am I bummed out? Yeah, of course. I ws telling myself these past 2 weeks that I was just going to power through, buckle down and face that fear no matter the cost. I wish I was a little more of a super woman, in all honesty I feel like a bit of a dork when I think of all the people who have said "It's so cool your doing this, it's so great your tackling your fear head on." I feel a bit like I am running the other direction, even if I am only stepping back.

Will I do this someday? Yes. I will. I want to, but now is not the time and as much as I want to be super woman, I have to be who I am. I am going to listen to my body and to the little voice telling me to wait. I would hate to have a horrible experience and ruin a potentially cool race by going against how I am feeling.

Have you ever had a horrible race experience and wish you had been more prepared? Have you ever backed out of a race knowing it's for the best?

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